All posts by : admin

Even drawing a simple forceful line makes a statement and its texture, volume, sharpness, tone and direction towards which it is lying will speak volumes about its character. For me it has been always a kind of a puzzle, as when line emerges in the middle of canvas, it makes something within a sort of competition or gives a feel of floating. Its two ends have mysticism kind of thing, a sudden emergence and abrupt decline. Line silently has also ongoing a struggle within it. When the same kind of line I place in the middle of tv frame. And position the text somewhere around, a different kind of world is placed before me. It fascinates at times.

Even a dot on the frame matters and taking it for granted will not work, as its appearance and positioning can give a frame different meanings all together. Each and every visual element has its parameters and the language to substitute, compensate or destroy the overall meaning. Ray, Orson welles and Hitchcock, even their texts have a special character and assignment for introducing something serious, big and a kind of immortal things.

(EXCERPT FROM : THE UGLY TAKINGS: BY ANIL NAKHASI)

Ironies of existing
Where do we exist
Where we experience
Our existence..

You will have no listeners for whatsoever reason. You know, you definitely know this. Tired heart of tireless world. Grasping the holes of dead glories. Hate and love that squeeze the agony. The joy that dwell like the passing, falling and dying rain. The humming of tiny crystal drops, you feel – you curse at times. You belittle and miss !

Sometimes I wonder how the two masters from different fields and genres subject and will treat each other’s idea, subject and style if given chance to exchange their role. Will the dimensions be changed or shifted to extremely different prepositions or their will be a consent or meeting point where there perceptive proportions will coincide or not in so deviated calibration. Or is it simply a creative track which has its ranges of frequencies. And on travelling on certain track the performer will behave the same, whosoever he or she may be. Complexities of creative dynamics.

Suppose Picasso will direct the movies and Kurosawa paint, only paint.

नाटककार के पुरस्कृत नाटक की कापी मेज़ पर व्याकुल पडी थी। नाटक के पात्र मेज़ के इर्द-गिर्द घूम अपने अपने डायलाग चबा भी रहे थे । कुछ पच जाते, कुछ उलटी कर जाते और बेशतर होंठो से लिपस्टिक के मानिंद चिपक जाते और तोते सी रट लगाने मे निबट जा रहे थे। निर्देशक आया सबको ग्रीन रूम भेजा और तेज़ी से कापी उठाई। ये क्या? कापी पर नज़र पडते ही चौंक उठा। नाटक के पन्ने नाटक के सारे किरदार पी गये। गढे , लिखे गये हालात, बेहाल टूटी दीवार सी टेडी होती जा रही है। नाटक का कलेजा फटने को हो जैसे। नाटककार की असल ज़िंदगी की बेईमानों और कागज़ पर बुनी ईमानदारी – बारी भरकम तंज़ नही तो और क्या! पर्दे उठते गिरते रहे। मरे हुए किरदारो की तरह नाटक की आत्मा मरी हुई थी। फिर पुरस्कार घोषित हुआ। फिर नाटककार कहानी पर मुखोटा साधा था। उसका सदा यही इरादा था ।

#अनिलनखासी

The face though intact looked disoriented and deconstructed. Heavy
round face, dark brown eyes, almost negligible eyebrows and squeezed
tiny nose with wide broad flat chin under curved thick stony looking
lips. Watching these features through magnifying glass would be a
frightening experience. Not it would have been in any normal case. He
was suffering. Suffering with some unknown, unidentified syndrome.
Working with govt. department and occupying important chair to waste
had further exaggerated the much fantasized trouble. He had vowed that
this weekend he would see the Neuro specialist. And here he is with
exalted degrees of incoherency. Dr Drone joo seeing him was looking
more keenly his jaws than listening his utterences. Jaw movements were
unusual, producing rattling noise with each movement. I don’t know
what to say you, but I don’t deserve this, he while saying this rubbed his
head the way one brushes his or her pet. Hair shined with his sticky
fingers. Fingers were recently soaked with corruption oil. His favourite
lubricant to keep him motivated to work. He projected himself like a
jigsaw puzzle. Gather all his talent to respond and face weird creature,
the Dr. said – Don’t worry! Ease yourself. I very well understand your
super disease. And the fact was that this time again doctor was himself
with a kind of split personality. It was often the case, more lately now.
Doctor in him would just simply think on focusing the ailment and with
his rich experiences and subject knowledge to deal with it accordingly.
But the other character of him raising a head with more power was – you
have no experience in a real sense. You are just proceeding on in a way
on second hand and jotted down experiences and medical case in texts.
This time it isn’t easy to tackle this pungent character. Dr. seriously was
tired and wished to escape. The stubborn complainant in no time fired so
many queries which were so illogical that the Dr. was finding it difficult

to control his boiling point. His nerves by restraining were obliging him.
He clearly was getting such signals. Finally a thought flashed into his
mind. He made the so called the patient, who by now had given much
stress to doctor, to lie down and keep eyes closed. The boring peace
killer fellow followed the instruction. Once he was settled, Dr. took his
unusual hammer and instead of trying it on the patient, he hit himself on
the top of head. Something magical happened with the pressed sound of
doctor’s bones and nerves. The size of doctor reduced to not bigger than
that of eye drop. Even smaller than that. He without wasting moment
climbed up the body of patient, reached his face and jumped into his
right eye. He got immersed with a splash of tears coming out of the eyes
and in a fraction completely disappeared.
There was enough darkness inside the head. Dr. with the help of his cel
phone light could chose the right nerve to enter the womb of brain. The
sound of beats were adding the mystical ambience produced by flaring
of nerves. To his surprise, most nerves were wooden in nature. Dr. was
bit frightened and more engrossed in this adventurous tour. It was his
first journey in anyone’s head. Some sticky liquefied form reflected his
face. He could smell abscess of faulty ego. Could very well see because
of this abscess pool , the acromegaly of inner structure of head. And
element of Agnosia was very well existing on which was written in
some neuro text – Alter the stance on recognizing the social duties. He
wish he could shout loud and announce that the patient is suffering from
Anencephaly, keeping the patient’s behavior in view.
Finally he was happy to see his image. Instead of waterfall he saw blood
fall in one of the corner of right anterior. After walking few impractical
steps, he heard a noise of past, coming straight from downwards,
perhaps from heart. Don’t go into the chamber of memory. But why as if
he reverted back. Because that is full of black smoky rough residential.
And yes not to go to calculation lobby. But why not. Dr. in a bit anguish
uttered. Because you too will be calculated and made prisoner there. Dr.
shouted without moving lips – Am I allowed to go to wisdom chamber?
No..no…no..you will face sickening disappointment. And may even

collapse in want of space and oxygen. And moreover passage there is
too twisting and messy. Dr. now felt bit annoyed as no one seems
cooperating in his first ever neuro trip, where he for the first time is
experiencing the world inside human head with his naked eyes. Seeing
Cauda Equina made him to remember his childhood days. He always
loved joint family- a bunch of brothers, sisters and cousins playing
together to produce harmonious environment. He was just thinking this
when a one heavy puffed swollen ugly nerve came down on his shoulder
and spread to entangle him like a anaconda. He struggled but all effort to
release himself proved futile. Suddenly he remembered he was carrying
anti depressant in his optical pocket of bright blue shirt. He took out the
medicine from the pocket, crushed it with his all might, made paste out
of it and rubbed the same on the nerve. Nerve at once squeezed and
moved to its own humble origin, looking weak and tired. All the nerves
and bones around were unkind, bruised him much. Experiencing
tremendous fatigue, Dr. decided to take a nap and look suitable place for
that. Cartilage bone of nose at suitable height was better than the rest of
available choices. And then the incoming and outgoing air was like a
much needed breeze. He switched off the mobile phone light and
realized he has to save the phone battery too. The moment he lied down
the snoring sound of made everything shake – nose cartilage and
doctor’s peace of mind. Such a rusty piece of human! Doctor murmured.
He looked more closely at his wrist watch. Took some two sided tapes
from his pocket, a small bottle filled with intelligence liquid and a screw
driver. He once again moved towards the upper portion of head with
mobile phone torch on. Thoroughly investigated all the chambers of
brain. Treated the loopholes, hollowness of some intelligentsia,
sprinkled some drops of anti hysteria on the common sense space and
offered a small prayer before leaving with this utterance – Thou are the
crankiest who makes me at times surrender my reasoning and turn
towards unseen god and beg for mercy. He found the eye lids of man
shut. They were too heavy for him to lift. He finally started pricking the
left eye lid with the screw driver. And kept shouting – you piece of
jerk..open your eyes. I treated you and you are harassing me only. Little
by little he managed to uplift the lid and with his learnt yogic and gym

techniques, he threw himself upwards and landed on the heartless chest
of a man. He gathered himself and slided down to pick up his unusual
hammer. Once hammer was in his hand, he hit himself with it on his
head. Again with deafening streaks of sound he in a jiffy transformed
into its original shape and size. The patient yawned and stood up.
Looked at doctor like a stranger and left the room without saying any
word. After sometime doctor noticed the minute entity lying on bed.
Patient had forgotten his rest of common sense, and taken doctor’s
unusual hammer alongwith himself. Doctor dropped few acid drops on
the lying piece of common sense. It became more volatile and slowly
started taking shape of the patient. Once it resembled the patient fully,
he uttered – I am all yours !